Stop Torturing Yourself. There’s Nothing Wrong with Who You Are

Jessie J is an uplifting artist who gives hope to her fans through the beauty of her voice and her empowering music. Let’s use her powerful and encouraging song, Who You Are as an example. The first verse of this song gives off a vibe that can unfortunately be relatable to many;

“I stare at my reflection in the mirror
Why am I doing this to myself?
Losing my mind on a tiny error”

The stress for perfection is pretty common and many will fall deep into a spiral of negativity if they don’t feel like they meet societal demands in different categories. Realistically speaking, who doesn’t stress themselves out over the little things? Something we need to understand is that stress will most likely happen but that doesn’t mean beating yourself down is okay. Torturing yourself for not being perfect isn’t worth it especially when stress is an option. You can chose to stress or you could ignore stressing and decide to continue to work on yourself while loving yourself unapologetically. 


In life, going through struggles, like insecurities and stress, is a natural thing. There will be times where we feel like changing ourselves is the best decision to make in order to fit in, make friends, or gain self-esteem. In this song, Jessie J teaches us to embrace how our imperfections is what makes us who we are.

Know that you are beautiful. Yes, YOU.

It is okay to have a different skin color, hair, style, language or culture. There is nothing exciting about seeing people with identical personalities, clothes, lifestyle, etc. Being different is good. Read it again… BEING DIFFERENT IS GOOD. Stop stressing yourself to fit in and just be true to who you are. Like Jessie says, “don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars”. The most important thing about confidence is gaining the ability to love, appreciate, and accept yourself. Wearing a pandora bracelet won’t make you beautiful because the best jewelry is a genuine smile.

One of the hardest tasks in life is to learn how to fully enjoy your own body, mind, and presence, but everything takes time; “it’s okay not to be okay.” There will be moments where you will feel insecure and upset with yourself, but stressing about it is a step away from confidence. Learn how to remove those feelings that bring unhappiness to your life and begin to instead invest your time into building yourself and soon you will have your blessings: confidence, acceptance, and self-love.


Thank you Auntie J for your beautiful lyrics. 5 years later and this song is still as impactful as when it first came out.


You can view the video here:


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