So you’ve updated your vision board, gotten your goals aligned, walked the streets of your city or town with a little more pep in your step and have impressively discovered an even more profound reason to continue following your dreams this year.
And when you get home every night after a long day of hard work and immense focus, you can’t help but to look in the mirror and smile at the fire in your eyes that dances at the thought of your larger-than-life plans.
But then your smile suddenly disappears, as the room seems much bigger and quieter than usual when reality sets in: the road to success is sometimes a lonely one.
Oh, Happy New Year. You’re single, again.
For our ambitious men and women, it’s so easy for us to beat ourselves up when we fall short of any goal—relationships are no exception.
Our drive and confidence enables us to be as great as we can be at all that we do, and equips us with the everyday belief that “if I can do this, I can do that too.”
We have grand visions in our mind of how our life should and will play out and we seek to maintain a healthy balance in all aspects of our lives: love, family, career, etc.
But when you get closer to opportunities that may get you closer to your dreams and you have to work harder than usual, here’s why not to feel guilty when you have to tip the scales for your career and sacrifice your love life in the process:
Opportunities are few and far between
It goes without saying that when opportunity knocks, you just better be ready, as they don’t come often. Taking the necessary time and isolation to perfect your craft, network and fully prepare yourself for your career opportunities is essential to your success. They say that in life, we only regret the chances we didn’t take. Your future bae will be exactly where he or she needs to be: in your future. This opportunity you are readying yourself for, however, won’t be if you are not prepared for it. Don’t regret not taking that chance on yourself.
Solitude is spiritual growth
Where would you be now had you not have listened to those voices in your head nudging you to pursue your career aspirations? Those voices only tug at our heartstrings when we’re open to hearing them. With that being said, solitude is a crucial step towards your personal and spiritual growth. Being alone can be a scary thing for a lot of people, but for the dream chaser, it’s important to take full advantage of those moments as they provide the clarity necessary to proceed to your next steps.
You learn more about you and a craft…or two
How would you know that you had a fascination with telling stories had you not have read those 10 books last summer? Or how about that newfound courage of putting yourself out there that you gained from attending those events alone? Whatever the circumstance, there are many things we learn about ourselves just from experimenting and doing those things that we could only do alone. In today’s generation, it’s also always good to pickup a set of skills that could help you further standout when chasing your dreams. Don’t feel ashamed for needing that Saturday to yourself in order to make that happen.
Love interests come and go, partners are forever
OK, we get it. After a 12-hour day of work on yourself, it’s tempting to want those “breaks” to be filled with time spent with a boo thing, cuddy buddy, or whatever you want to call him or her. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, it’s important to keep in mind that the same heart that has you gung-ho about following your dreams is the same heart that can, unfortunately, distract you from them. Love interests come and go but there’s always one or two lingering a little longer than necessary that can and will distract you. When sacrificing time for yourself and your goals, remember that a “partner” won’t distract you from that. He or she will cheer you on from the sidelines and appreciate the time you give when you can give it because they know your purpose and they believe in you. He or she may not have arrived yet, but when he/she does, you’ll know it. And in the croaky voice of Wale, “they gon’ love you for your ambition!”
Stay focused, don’t apologize for it and don’t beat yourself up for being single again. The more you learn about yourself and the things you love, the less alone you realize you actually are. Be grateful for that extra time you have to find and work on yourself. It’s precious.
Now signing off with the reminder: Don’t wait for the world to recognize your greatness, live it and let the world catch up to you.
Tamara Shanice is an actress, writer, lyricist and fashionable hustler who takes pride in entertaining and educating through her art. She’s a wandering spirit who loves to travel the world and marvel at the works of God’s paintbrush.